It's just a bump in the road..

Though it is a ginormous bump in ours..
I've decided I'm going to write everything I'm thinking.
Because I have no one to talk to, so I'm just going to vent through this.
I am not editing anything for anyone, not even him.
Here we go..
I messed up. Big time. I can't even begin to describe how much I regret doing what I did.
Mistakes happen though.
It's the only way to truly learn something.
Because although you already know it in your heart, you don't really understand until you've already gone and done it.
And messed up..
So of course, instead of listening to my gut, my best friends, and everything else, I chose to listen to that little voice in my head telling me, "hey it's okay. he deserves it"
Yeah.
Brilliant Stephanie.
Now, I've probably permanently lost his trust.
He's angry, sad, hurt, and upset with me.
I always take for granted what I have until its too late and its gone.
I just need strength.
I need to quit being a shitty, depressed girl friend and get my damn self prioritized.
I need to prove to him once and for all that he can trust me.
Wholeheartedly.
That I will take care of him, and that I will make up for past grievances.
He is the best damn thing to ever walk into my life.
No way in hell am I going down without a fight.
No way in hell am I messing up my last chance.
Zach, if you're reading this, I'm terribly sorry for everything I've put you through in the past.
But let's move on and look forward to a beautiful future.
I wrote this mostly for myself, although it is unorganized babble.
It helped.
I'll add more later.