I miss innocence

In all of this.
If I could go back, I would.
I miss just being happy with you.
I miss the days when there were no complications.
I miss when there was no one else but you and me.
I miss endless nights spent without fighting.
I miss your embrace.
I miss being able to say we trusted each other completely.
I miss fights when we didn't try to hurt each other.
I miss your laugh.
I miss your smile.
I miss being the only thing that mattered in your life.
I miss knowing who you are.
I miss tickle fights.
I miss just lying on my bed and talking.
Just getting to know one another..
I miss sneaking calls to you late at night, and staying up talking about everything and nothing at all, until it was time to get ready for school.
I miss you singing me to sleep.
I miss going to our spot.
I miss being 1oo% happy with my life. Who made me that way?
Why, you did.
I miss you being the reason I got out of bed in the mornings.
I miss knowing we were going to have our fairy tale ending.
I just miss you.
You and me.
I want it all back.
I miss it terribly..

Heartbroken

I hate how life bites you in the ass.
I hate how the Goddess' three fold law works.
I hate how what I did to him is slowly coming back to me.
I hate how much it hurts.
I wish I could go back and do it all again.
I'd have been such a better girlfriend.
I know he'll never read this.
He's not the same as he once was.
I hate who I've become.
Idk.
I just wish there were time machines.
I wish this wasn't happening to me.
I wish I knew what to do.

Love poem of the day..

It's just a bump in the road..

Though it is a ginormous bump in ours..
I've decided I'm going to write everything I'm thinking.
Because I have no one to talk to, so I'm just going to vent through this.
I am not editing anything for anyone, not even him.
Here we go..
I messed up. Big time. I can't even begin to describe how much I regret doing what I did.
Mistakes happen though.
It's the only way to truly learn something.
Because although you already know it in your heart, you don't really understand until you've already gone and done it.
And messed up..
So of course, instead of listening to my gut, my best friends, and everything else, I chose to listen to that little voice in my head telling me, "hey it's okay. he deserves it"
Yeah.
Brilliant Stephanie.
Now, I've probably permanently lost his trust.
He's angry, sad, hurt, and upset with me.
I always take for granted what I have until its too late and its gone.
I just need strength.
I need to quit being a shitty, depressed girl friend and get my damn self prioritized.
I need to prove to him once and for all that he can trust me.
Wholeheartedly.
That I will take care of him, and that I will make up for past grievances.
He is the best damn thing to ever walk into my life.
No way in hell am I going down without a fight.
No way in hell am I messing up my last chance.
Zach, if you're reading this, I'm terribly sorry for everything I've put you through in the past.
But let's move on and look forward to a beautiful future.
I wrote this mostly for myself, although it is unorganized babble.
It helped.
I'll add more later.