Every time I say it, that's when everything goes wrong. Whenever I tell someone that Zach and I are perfect, we haven't been fighting at all this month, we're happy. That day, all hell breaks loose later. We fight and fight and I end up in tears. And so does he sometimes. I jinx us, all of the time. It's so not right. So I have made an oath to myself to never in my existence utter those words again.
So I have been crying for the past two hours. I just finished. I feel drained and depressed. Maybe I did deserve it. I really don't see how. Tonight, I saw a flash of something in him that I wished I would never see. I feel scared. And I absolutely love how when he is done talking, its ok for him to fall asleep, even though I'm in the middle of spilling my heart out. It hurts.
But, how could I go on without him?
Break ups, breaks.. none of that is even an option for me. It will solve absolutely nothing. All I want is to work with him and make things better. I wonder if he really understands that it takes me longer to change my ways than it does for him. All I know is that I need this boy, like oxygen. Without him, I would be nothing. He's become apart of every part of me. He's my bestest best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my support system. He's the one who cheers me up no matter what, who calms me down. He's the one who sings me to sleep at night. I could never continue living if he wasn't there, by my side.
Yes, we will have many many many terrible fights after this one. It's life, people disagree. But we'll deal with it together. Like a team. We're meant for each other, and no one could ever convince me otherwise.
Break ups, breaks.. none of that is even an option for me. It will solve absolutely nothing. All I want is to work with him and make things better. I wonder if he really understands that it takes me longer to change my ways than it does for him. All I know is that I need this boy, like oxygen. Without him, I would be nothing. He's become apart of every part of me. He's my bestest best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my support system. He's the one who cheers me up no matter what, who calms me down. He's the one who sings me to sleep at night. I could never continue living if he wasn't there, by my side.
Yes, we will have many many many terrible fights after this one. It's life, people disagree. But we'll deal with it together. Like a team. We're meant for each other, and no one could ever convince me otherwise.
